


Second Chances

by Mystic_Girl_84_Blackness



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-29
Updated: 2019-07-23
Packaged: 2020-03-29 11:34:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 18,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19019092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mystic_Girl_84_Blackness/pseuds/Mystic_Girl_84_Blackness
Summary: Clint hasn't forgotten his soulmate and best friend, he still longs for a day when they will be reunited even though he knows that's impossible but he wants a second chance. Kira awoke from a coma with limited memories after a terrible accident. She doesn't know who she was before. The two of them meet in a little café, something draws them to each other, it's like they  know each other, and trust each other but how is that possible if they've never met? Could this be Clint's second chance in more ways than one?





	1. Introductions

Clint was having trouble sleeping, trouble eating and looking after himself. His marriage had broken down. He’d been feeling this way for close to 2 years. 2 years since the day he lost he’s soulmate and best friend. Natasha was his soul mate, Clint knew that in no uncertain terms. She was one of the only people to understand him, to see beyond things like he was able to with her. He was the only man she ever fully trusted, she told him things she told no one else and they looked after each other, even when they were on opposing teams. Clint hadn’t felt complete for 2 years, his 'yang' was missing. Laura had been sympathetic, she'd cared for Natasha too, and tried to help him but he’d gotten to a place where ironically the only person who would have been able to reach him, was the reason he was in this place. She loved him, but she knew he’d never be hers again, he was too lost in his despair and she had the children to think about. She still let him visit regularly and his children still loved him and he loved them, he was forever grateful that Natasha’s sacrifice had helped return his children and never let himself forget it. Tasha would most likely come back and beat the hell out him if he did, his family was one of the reasons for her sacrafice. 

Clint was sitting in a cafe one morning drinking his coffee, the town was a small one and everyone knew everyone’s business but Clint liked the community spirit. He heard the door jingle signalling a new customer, however didn’t pay attention till he glanced up at the till and saw a flash of red. He stopped to stare for a second, the girl had her hair in a long braid, the top of it he could see was a dirty blonde colour, but about half way down it was a bright red colour. He continued to discreetly gaze at the woman, watching as she ordered and waited. She was a little shorter than him, but built like a dancer, graceful yet strong. She turned as she collected her drink and made her way to a table next to him. Clint’s breath caught in he’s throat when she looked up at him, and he gazed into her eyes for a second, turquoise curious eyes looked back at him with a nervous smile, before her eyes redirected themselves to the drink and the book she pulled out of her bag. He glanced at the cover “Russian Fairytales” written in Russian. He kept looking at her, before focusing on the report he was meant to be writing for one of his students. When he glanced up again, he noticed her eyes fell back to him and a look of confusion crossed her face, almost like she was trying to place him. He was still good at reading people, but he somehow felt that she was reading him to, from the brief glances that she kept sending he’s way. After an hour or so, she stood up to leave, glancing at him and smiling shyly before collecting her coat. Clint returned the smile as she leaves, catching a glance of something silver around her neck in the sunlight. 

So what do we think? Continue or not? Feedback greatly appreciated.


	2. Chapter 2

The next day Clint sat in the coffee house and the woman appeared again. She chooses her drink and sits at the same table as yesturday, pulls out her book and begins to read. Both Clint and the woman continue to glance at each other shyly before returning to their reading. This continues for about a week, though neither says anything. It’s the following Monday when the woman gets her drink, and seems to hesitate about where to sit. Owing to the tourist season all the tables are full, with the exception of Clint’s table or she could take it to go. She hesitates slightly before walking over to the man whose she’s been exchanging looks with the past week  
“Hi, Do you mind if I sit here?” She asked nervously  
“Not at all” Clint says with a glance after noting all the tables were already full  
“Thanks” She says sitting down, and pulling out her book before placing it on the table next to her drink. She stopped to look at him, really study him for a minute.  
“I’m sorry, have we met?” She asked curiously finding smething familiar about the man  
“Well you’ve been sitting, drinking opposite me for the last week….” Clint says  
“No I feel like...I don’t know, I’m sorry. I’m babbling. My names Kira by the way” She says by way of introduction  
“Clint” He answers with a warm smile  
“I’m sorry, I’m distracting you, I’m just going to, um read my book” She says taking off her jacket and light catches the silver glint on her neck, making Clint glance at her and stop for a second. Around her neck is a small silver arrow, on a fine silver chain. He has to blink and swallow, to remind himself to breath, though a startled breath leaves him, then another and suddenly he can’t get enough air to breath, suddenly breathing seems to be the hardest thing to do. He grabs at the table trying to regain control.  
“Are you OK?” She asks concerned watching him, noting the panic in he’s eyes, the changes in he’s breathing and gasping softly before standing and kneeling beside him.  
“Clint, Listen, focus on me …” He tries but can’t get his mind to focus though a voice somewhere in the distance seeps through “Count backwards with me 10, 9, 6, 8, 7...come on Clint...10, 9, 6, 8, 7”  
Clint tried  
“10, 9, 8...”  
“No, try again, 10, 9, 6, 8, 7...” Kira says firmly  
Clint repeats the numbers in he’s head before saying them out loud  
“10, 9, 7...no 10, 9, 8...10, 9, 6, 7, 8...no wait it’s 10, 9, 6, 7, 8...” He repeats again counting with Kira and feels he’s breathing slow, his mind trying to remember the order of numbers  
“Do you need some water?” Kira asks when he’s breathing slows to a more regular place  
“How..um..no...I’m sorry, that doesn’t often happen” Clint says embarrassed  
“Panic attacks?” Questions Kira softly  
“Is that what that was?” Clint says with a dry chuckle “How did you stop it, with the counting thing...I mean normally people just wait, and coax you...”  
“Your mind is unable to panic when it’s reciting numbers out of order. It focuses your mind, which in turn slows your breathing. I do a lot of the time when I’m anxious or stressed, which is a lot by the way. I can’t wait to get back to normal, well whatever normal is” She say’s with a half shrug  
“What’s normal?” Questions Clint  
“Oh, I work at fitness centre teaching ballet and gymnastics to young people, and self defence, endurance and kick boxing to adults, I’ve even got a few guys who take my classes if you’re interested?” Kira said avoiding answering the question  
“Wow that’s very active” Clint said with a smile  
“Yeah, I mean I enjoy it, keeping fit and all. I am also a professional personal trainer in my spare time, I don’t know if you are into fitness but I’ve been told by previous clients I’m a good motivator?” She says with a smile  
“I used to be” Clint allowed “Now I don’t think I’m up for it any more, fitness stuff”  
“Your quite a solid build, you body tells me you’ve exercised years ago, the way you hold yourself,you’ve still got core body strength , if you want a refresher or even some self defence, let me know” She says pulling out a card with her contact details “If you want to take any of my classes, let me know or even take up a personal trainer session, first sessions 50% for newbies”  
“Thanks” Said Clint almost chuckling at the idea of making him do self defence or dance, though personal training could be fun he thought, and maybe he could get to know Kira a little better. He wasn’t opposed to that, he was drawn to her, somehow, something like a moth to light.  
“So what do you do?” Kira asked interestedly  
“I teach archery at the youth centre, and work part time as search and rescue” He said with a smile  
“Oh wow. That sounds hard work, but I find teaching youngster’s great fun”  
“I’ve got to go, but yeah come by at some point if you want a session” She said with a smile, picking up her bag and putting her coat on, placing the scarf around her neck obscuring the necklace and smiling shyly. Clint watched her leave with interest, remembering the necklace and unprepared for the memories it brought back. The silver arrow looked so much like Natasha’s, it was uncanny. He shook his head to clear his mind before getting up to leave, his joints creaking at the movement. Maybe he could do with a training session, loosen up and maybe he could work out why she was bugging his gut so much.


	3. Chapter 3

A week later Clint arrived for his session. Kira had explained she would assess where he needed to home his skills and help him from there. She smiled in greeting before switching to a professional mode quickly. She established that he needed to work on he’s cardio and his lower body strength and set up a plan for him to follow which included jogging around the park which they would do in the next session.

In their first training she did the first run with him, after confirming he would rather be running around a park than on a treadmill, encouraging him firmly, pushing him to his limits. In the end he was exhausted. He stopped to gaze at her and noticed she was still in a professional mode  
“Not a bad start, but you need to pace yourself, its a run not a sprint. You need to record your time to see if you can make it quicker, each time we’ll try and shave off a few seconds. 2 sets of 10 squats, followed by 2 sets of 10 crunches , then do your cool down stretches, drink water and have a warm shower to ease your muscles.” She finished before glancing at her watch “I’ve got to go, so do that every other day to start, then we’ll meet in a week and see how you’re getting on. Call me if you have any questions” She said before turning her back and jogging back to the fitness centre. Clint did as recommended. He was rather intrigued by the personality change of Kira. As a trainer she demanded a lot, her tone was clipped and cool, similar to how Natasha had been he thought absently, but she was also a woman who enjoyed her free time by reading a book and sipping hot drinks, and was the most relaxed and open person he’d met for a while. The two polar personalities intrigued Clint. He decided to try and learn more. 

A month later 

Clint was happier than he’d been in a while. He was drinking less, exercising more and felt a little happier with things. He tried to tell himself the reason was time, and exercising again, but some part of him felt Kira was helping. He hadn’t seen the arrow necklace since that day at the cafe, and assumed that due to the training she chose to be practical which would explain the absence. He’d dropped in one evening to try her self defence class. He knew self defence, but one class wouldn’t hurt, at least that’s what he told himself as he watched her from a distance. He watched how she moved and demonstrated various things to the people watching her.  
“Right, welcome guys my names Kira. Now you’re all here to learn how to defend yourslef, which is brilliant but the best piece of advice I can give you to take away is, watch out for your surroundings, be aware of what’s going on a round. You are only legally allowed to use force if your safety or another’s safety is compromised, or you feel justified in using it. We are going to be working on some ‘soft’ defence moves. These are moves that can be used to get yourself out of a situation you feel unsafe in. Self defence should only be used if you feel threatened and you use the minimum force possible. Wrist breakaways, wipea aways and even certain movements can help. You need to have the element of surprise, and be prepared to use more than one technique if required. Keep things simple and use gravity as your friend.”  
She finished looking at the men  
“Now most of these techniques can be used across both sexes, a few are specifically suited to males, but most are universal. First thing prevention, its always better to prevent than react. Avoid a dangerous situation if possible. Keep in well lit areas, areas busy with people or traffic, avoid alleys, park cars in well lit areas, be aware of your surroundings. Take in the area, do you notice any unusual sounds or is anything out of place, trust your instincts. We all have them, that tiny voice that tells us when something is wrong. Follow it and listen to it, it’s better to be over cautious than under cautious...and yes men are just as good at this as women so it’s worth something to keep in mind. Don’t forget the majority of attacks are against women by men, however the number of women attacking other women or men is slowly on the rise”  
She stopped to take a breath  
“Sometimes even though we follow all those rules, someone will still decide to intimidate us. If you can run or walk away, find a safe place, a cafe, a library, a restaurant. Use your phone when your there to call someone who may be able to come and get you and stay with other people. Attackers are less likely to attack more than one person so ask the staff to come with you, if you trust them or know them, even just walking you to your car. I know most of the staff at our local are more than happy to walk you to your car. So we’ve taken all these precautions and we are still attacked. Give them what they want, if they want your phone, your bag, your wallet, your watch etc give it to them. Thise things are replaceable. You aren't. So we’ve done that, and they don’t want any of our valuables, we feel threatened and we feel its morally right to defend ourselves, that’s when we lay a hand on them. A lot of people will grab an arm or wrist, so we are starting with breakaways or arm releases...so say someone grabs you around your wrist, work out how they’ve grabbed you, the point where their thumb and forefinger meet is the weakest point. Use your arm to pull your wrist free, which I shall now demonstate” She called a member of her class up to the front and demonstrated the release technique. She had everyone try it. Clint was working with another man and was suitably impressed so far. Her pace was good, her advice sound and wasn’t over the top. He was even fascinated that she pointed out that being aware of your surroundings were equally as important. He kept thinking she was holding back and remembered that these techniques wouldn’t have worked in his line of work, but then it was unlikely they would assaulted by a trained operative so why should she teach more complex moves? As they progressed through the moves, he got more engaged, finding himself drawn to the simpler techniques. Towards the end, Kira’s assistant who was helping her demonstrate the more effective moves got a call and had to leave.  
“Right, normally my assistant would be here to help me with this final move but he’s had to go, so we’ll stick to … yes Clint?” She said noticing him put his hand up  
“I can volunteer” Clint said  
“I couldn’t ask you to do that, I don’t want you to get hurt” Kira said looking at him with apprehension  
“You won’t hurt me” He argued back with a smile  
“OK guys practice that last move and I’ll be back” Kira said  
Clint walked over to her when she beckoned him over with her look.  
“Look I’ve learnt lots of self defence in the past, I still remember things and I’ve done hand to hand combat for training. Trust me, you won’t be able to hurt me”  
“Why did you learn self defence?”  
“I learnt it for work, sometimes I had to move people from place to place and be safe about it, so I was taught various forms of defence to look after people”  
“So like a body guard?” Kira asked  
“Yeah, kinda” Clint answered  
“OK, I mean...”  
“You won’t hurt me, I promise” He said  
“Are you absolutely sure?” Kira said trying to assess how much he was telling her, was accurate.  
“Do you want me to sign a waver of something?” He asked  
“OK, if your sure” Kira allowed and to be honest she was intregued.  
“Don’t go easy, because in a real life situation the attacker won’t go easy” Clint advised  
Kira still looked uneasy but nodded in agreement  
“I’m going to...” She began  
“Don’t tell me. Let me have the element of surprise and make it more realistic”  
“Are you sure?” She asked  
“Yes, I am” Clint said “For some reason I trust you, not to hurt me that much”  
Kira nodded before calling the attention of the class  
“Right I am going to show you a move, I will d o it in real time, then talk you through it.”  
Clint suddenly grabbed her with an arms around her neck and effectively immobilising her, so he thought. She did four quick moves and before he knew it, he was bent forward, and gasping for breath. He blinked at the speed in which had happened. Damn, he thought, she’s good.  
“So that last move is a popular one, called SING which focuses on four of the most sensitive areas of the body Solar Plexes, just below your ribs is a soft area, use you elbow and elbow sharply in that area, which should knock your attacker off balance, next focus on the instep which is essentially stamping on their foot, which will cause him to bend over slightly, this gives you the perfect to elbow his nose, sharply which will immobilise him further before finally the groin and at this point in all likely hood he would have let go. You then run, you don’t stay and watch, you run and call for help. Now no injuries please, just focus on the four areas but make no contact with your partner”  
She turned around to smile at Clint who’d got his breath back. Clint was feeling amazing, energised, He hadn’t realised how much he’d missed hand to hand combat or being thrown around by a woman.  
“Thanks for volunteering” She said  
“You were too gentle” He critiqued and saw her eyes flash for a moment  
“I couldn’t do anything more without hurting you, which I wanted to obviously avoid” She argued “Besides your were gasping for breath at the end”  
“Wouuld you be interested in adding some of those moves into your personal training programme for me?” Clint asked interestedly  
“Really?” Kira queried  
“Yeah, I mean I forget how much I missed it, you know sparring and the feeling you get”  
“You know these are only used in self defence right?” Kira said with a smile  
“Of course” He answered  
She pondered for a second before calling her class to attention  
“Brilliant, well that’s everything for today, Thanks for coming” She dismissed the class before turning to look at Clint  
“OK, I can try a few things now, see how you feel about them?” Kira suggested  
Clint nodded as Kira grabbed a drink from her bottle. She pulled out 2 mats before stretching her muscles, Clint did the same but couldn’t stop his eyes wondering to Kira.  
“Run at me” She said  
Clint looked at her, running at her and just as he reached her, she side stepped and he whizzed past her.  
“Come on” He said with a laugh  
“Hey, its a good move. I’m not a martial arts expert” She said  
He came up behind her, grabbing her around the shoulders and neck like earlier keeping his grip a little lose. She was ready though, she moved her hand between he’s arm and her neck so she could breath and in one simple movement unbalanced him by leaning forward and using gravity and momentum against him, before throwing him over her shoulder onto the floor. He landed with a oof before she returned to her defensive stance, not even bothering to help him up.  
“Wow!” He said taking a breath “It’s been a long time since I’ve been thrown”  
“Sorry, did I hurt you?” She said leaning over to help him up. He took a gamble and pulled her down, rolling them over and pinning her to the ground. She paused for a second before wrapping her leg around he’s and using gravity to roll him over so she was on top. She then proceeded to keep her balance and used her weight to pin his arms down to the mat.  
“This wasn’t what I had in mind” She said gazing at him, green eyes gazing at him “Can I let you up without you attacking me again?”  
Clint tried to wriggle and free himself, but he didn’t want to injure her and wasn’t sure how far to push her. He stopped for a second and nodded. She slowly let him up, watching him the entire time before offering him a drink which he gratefully took.  
“Impressive” She said with a smile  
“You to, I didn’t know you had so many skills?”  
“It’s odd, I mean I knew basic self defence before my accident, but when I woke up I had all this extra knowledge...” She answered before stopping like she’d reveal too much.  
“Woke up?” He asked in confusion  
“I was in a coma for 2 weeks, then I woke up seemingly out of nowhere, I only had a few memories and I had no family” She spoke softly  
“Oh, I’m sorry” Clint said sensing another story  
“Yeah, it was, like the strangest thing, waking up and being told that I’d missed 2 weeks of my life...especially as I didn't remember the life I had before the coma” Kira continued looking down, her arms going around herself.  
“Do you remember life before your coma?” Clint asked gently  
“Do you, fancy maybe getting a drink.” Kira asked evading the question for now  
“Yeah, as long as it’s coffee” Cliint said  
“I could do with a ginger and mint tea” Agreed Kira  
Startling Clint, that used to be Natasha’s choice of hot drink but smiled and the packed up there things.


	4. Chapter 4

They arrived at the cafe and Clint went to get their drinks, returning to the table he usually resided at.  
“Thanks” Kira said with a smile “So tell me, special ops maybe?”  
“That would be classified if I was” Clint said with a smile  
“True. OK spoil sport. Safer topic.Now you teach archery?” She continued her line of questioning  
“I do, its a great skill to learn” Clint said proudly  
“Maybe I can come by one day and you can show me, what I’m missing” She asked with a smile  
“That could be fun. Do you remember what happened before your accident? Or the cause?” Clint asked again, hoping to continue the conversation from earlier.  
“No. I mean for some reason I think I was involved in a fall and something how hit my head on the way down, which knocked me out. The doctors told me I’d fallen off something tall, I had slightly damaged spine, but owing to landing in water, thankfully nothing broken apparently, and due to being unconscious and having no movement for 2 weeks, then being confined to a bed for 4 weeks and having a psyche exam done, my injuries were able to heal and I now have a clean bill of health. I honestly don’t remember my accident, or things before I just know what I've been told”  
“That must have been confusing when you awoke” Clint said with sympathy  
“It was, but in some ways I got to start a new life afterwards. So what’s your story?” She said turning tables on him  
“Story?” Clint asked pretending not to know what she was talking about  
“I’ve been watching you, and it looks like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders, a sadness about you” She continued tilting her head slightly  
“A sadness?” Said Clint sceptically  
“Yeah, like you lost something or someone?” Kira queried reading Clint’s slightly defensive body language at her mentioning the word 'lost'   
“My best friend was killed in a fall a few years ago” He said with a sigh  
“Oh I’m sorry” Kira said gently placing a hand on his  
“She...she helped a lot of people” Clint answered  
“What was she like?” Kira asked tilting her head in interest and Clint thought about trying to change the topic, but something about Kira’s earnest look made him stop.  
“She was smart, fast and graceful...she was beautiful, she was great at martial arts and dancing though no one ever knew about the dancing, she just, she just wanted to a good person, prove herself...save people” He answered  
“She sounds fierce...no wonder you miss her” Kira said with a small smile  
“She was, she was one of the most amazing...if not the most amazing person I’ve ever met or worked with. We were partners”  
“Partners? Like work partners?” Kira asked  
“Yeah” Clint said  
“No wonder she was so fierce” Kira said “That kind of work must be stressful, relying on each other to have your back”  
“It was, after she died, I well left. It was too much to not be working with her” Clint answered truthfully “So do you not know anything about yourself before the accident? How do you, well how do you cope with that?”  
“I honestly don’t remember, I only know when my birthday is and such because of my medical records, and what I found out from my belongings, but when I went home, nothing seemed to make sense at all, it felt really alien to me like I was living in someone else’s home. I sold the apartment. I decided to rebuild my life, but odd things appeared in my mind, I look at my body and I must have been pretty healthy before the accident, and I’ve found pictures of me dancing ballroom in a beautiful dress. I found an attendance certificate that said I attended a self defence group, but I never seemed that good you know? I wanted to read Russian Fairytales and I honestly don’t think I knew Russian before the accident...or even been able to read Russian, there was no evidence in my apartment of knowing anything about Russian, no books or aids or qualifications and nothing in my background that said I had lived in Russia. It’s like someone’s taken my mind, unmade it then mixed my and someone else’s memories together to make a new person. Doctors even said it was astounding that after my injury, physically I was as well as I could be, the um...high level alcohol must have relaxed me enough, so when I fell my muscles weren’t so tense. While the msucles in my back were damaged, the bones and spinal column remained intact”  
“Don’t you find it...scary? I mean, not knowing who you were?” Clint asked with interest  
“Well I don’t think I was a mean or cruel person, everything around my place looked boringly normal.” She said in reflection  
“I guess it’s nice, in some ways you can remake yourself...” Clint said  
“I didn’t like it at first, but now I’ve got used to it, it’s OK. It’s sad that I didn’t have any family though. Apparently my parents died in an accident 13 years ago, and I never had any siblings..”  
“I’ve got a brother. I’ve not seen him for a long time though. My parents died when I was young, my brother would always look after me growing up” Clint shared  
“That’s sad, but sweet your brother looked out for you. Do you live on your own” Kira enquired  
“I do, I’m recently kinda separated” He said awkwardly  
“Oh I’m sorry” Kira said taking a step back.  
“That’s OK, it was amicable, we just weren’t on the same path”  
“I’m not with anyone, I wasn’t with anyone apparently before the accident, well there was no evidence in my apartment, no one visited me in hospital and I had no pictures of anyone.”  
“Why? I mean your smart and beautiful, flexible and mysterious. Most guys dream of a girl like that”  
“I guess, I don’t trust easily, you know...” Kira said with a shrug  
“Oh I know, trust is a hard thing to earn isn’t it? I mean I’m flattered you’ve told me so much”  
“I don’t know, it’s like something is telling me I can trust you...I feel like I know you...I don’t know you obviously, I’m most likely talking crazy...” She said with an embarrassed smile  
“Well I’ve heard worse about myself before, but yeah thank you and I feel, like, well I trust you which is unusual for me” Clint said with a smile  
“It’s just, I don’t know, you’ve thrown me off balance” Kira said with a smile.  
He watched her twiddle with a fork, nimbly like the way someone might handle a knife.  
“Do you maybe, fancy some more sparring?” Clint asked  
“I’m busy tomorrow, but I’m free Friday evening...can you show me some archery before?”  
“Yeah, sure” Clint said with a smile  
“Cool” She said glancing at her watch  
“I need to go, but Friday works. You’ve got my number in case anything changes?”  
“I have” Clint nodded  
“Cool, thanks” She answered picking up her coat and bag and waving to Clint as she walked out the door.  
Clint watched her walk away with a small smile on his face, he liked Kira,  
He couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something oddly familiar about her. He didn’t let his mind wonder, happy to stay in the present were the past couldn’t haunt his nightmares. Though saying that on the days he met Kira, he didn’t seem to have any nightmares afterwards, he’s sleep was dreamless but he didn’t have that nightmare of watching Natasha fall and knowing there was nothing he could do to stop her. Her last words haunted him  
“It’s OK” She had said  
‘No Natasha it’s not OK” thought Clint quietly leaving the cafe and heading home for the night.


	5. Chapter 5

Hey, Sorry its taken so long to update. Life got in my way. So here is the next chapter. Kudis is good, Comments are epic and I hope you enjoy. 

When Friday arrived, Clint happily got ready, eager to see Kira again. He'd had a terrible dream Thursday night, re-watching Natasha fall over the cliff. He had woken with a start, a shout and sweating before deciding not to go back to sleep. Instead he sat up writing everything down he knew about Kira trying to distract his mind.  
She was a little younger than him.  
She had dark blonde/red hair.  
Greenish/Blue eyes  
Could do gymnastics, ballet and self defence in addition to other martial arts.  
Read Russian literature.  
She didn’t remember her life before the accident. When was the accident? When did she wake up?  
She’d been in coma.  
She had an arrow necklace.  
She knew self defence and was incredibly graceful and flexible, yet strong and powerful.

The evidence was glaring at him in the face. He was falling for her, she was so similar to Natasha, he could see enough to know that, and maybe, maybe that was why he was falling for her. Could Kira be his second chance? She wasn’t Natasha. He knew that. She didn’t look like her, didn’t move like her with confidence and feline grace, and she was gentler than Natasha, appearing more open, but something about her drew him in, like a moth to a flame, he was helplessly drawn to her. He dressed and glanced down at his phone to find a message  
“Archery at 1800 ? Kira”  
He smiled before responding, getting ready to face the day and teach his students.

Kira showed up at 6pm on the dot, just as his last student was leaving. She smiled and followed him through to the training room.  
“Have you ever done archery before?” He asked  
“No, I don’t think so” She answered  
“OK, well first lets get you suited up, an arm guard compulsory wear. We are going to use the students bow and arrow. So you ready?” He asked with a smile  
“Yeah” Kira said as Clint secured the arm band  
Clint talked her through the steps, before helping her set up her stance. She was able to do it after 3 tries.  
“You’re a quick learner” Clint said with a smile  
“Your a good teacher” She answered  
They continued archery for about 30 minutes before taking a break, Clint has been pleasantly surprised by her skill.  
“So, do you fancy some sparring?” Clint asked with interest, thinking back to the last time when he'd had fun and wanted to test out how flexible Kira really was.  
“OK” Kira answered taking a sip of a bottle. 

Kira began stretching to loosen her muscles, before taking up her position on the mat, a defensive stance at the ready.  
“Don’t hold back” Clint said with a smile  
“OK” Kira answered. Over time she'd grown to like Clint's determined attitude and spirit.  
They began. Kira went into the defensive, and the first round had Kira lying on the floor under Clint, though just as he went to finish his hold, she managed to swipe her leg around him, forcing him to roll on his back, her hands on his wrist securing him in the place  
“I did the same last time” She said with a smile, a glint in her eye “Did you forget? Or were you being cocky?”  
“No I was making it easy” Clint said with a grin  
“I thought we were doing no holding back?” Kira asked confused.  
“I’m trained for combat one to one, I don’t want to hurt you” Clint settled on  
“You know that’s a weakness right? If you were sparring in any other situation you wouldn’t give into compassion. As long as nothing is broken, I can handle it” She said confidently

The second time it started, Clint managed to pin her down, not falling for leg trick any more and easily over powering her  
“1 all!” He said with glee but Kira was barely out of breath, glaring at him. Kira agreed before going on the offensive, Clint barely blocking her blows. She didn’t try to get him on the floor any more, but he was still impressed by the agility and the bouncing around. She was light and quick, almost bouncing, moving fluidly. They continued for about 20 minutes, and Kira was up by 2 which surprised Clint.  
“One more time?” He asked  
“Last one, no holding back at all, though no broken bones” She said with a grin, adrenalin running through them. 

They nodded to each other and the battle began, this was by far the most intense battle so far. It was coming towards the end and Kira was beginning to feel tired, Clint came at her with then something happened. A sudden burst of energy she leapt in the air, managed to secure her legs around he’s neck, using a scissor kick and managed to pull him to the floor easily. Clint going with gravity fell, then stared up at her in amazement and awe. He only k ew 3 people who could do that move, and one of them was dead.  
“Where did that come from?” He asked shocked gasping for breatah  
“I, I have no idea” Kira said shakily looking at herself strangely “I’ve never done that before”  
She held her hand to help Clint up, and thanfully due to the amount of falls he had with Natasha he knew how to fall safely so hadn't injured himself.  
“I think, I think I’m going to head home” Kira said shocked at herself  
“OK” Clint said not wanting to make her uncomfortable, she obviously needed some space  
“You sure you’re OK?” She asked  
“Yes, fine” He reassured her  
She grabbed her bag and coat, waved at him before leaving a very confused Clint in her wake.

Despite this, they continued to meet for training, though didn’t spend time socialising, sparring appeared to have put Kira on edge. Clint found himself missing her. Ever since Natasha’s death he had felt incomplete, but since meeting Kira he was feeling a little less empty. He thought about everything he knew about her. He’d even called in a favour to have them check her background. There was nothing extraordinary in her background. She was trust fund girl. Seemed to be well, and kept out of trouble. She’d been involved in an accident in 2012 after jumping into a swimming pool from a tall building. Her record said was intoxicated. She’d awoken from her coma on 23rd May 2014, technically the same day Natasha had died (though in Clint’s mind it was still only 2 years ago) which he found to be an odd co-incidence to. He felt guilty looking this up, but he was curious. He felt so drawn to Kira, and instinctively in his soul felt like he’d known her longer than the few months since they’d been meeting.

He called Kira up one night he knew she had no training, and asked if she fancied getting take away. Kira had hesitantly agreed, and even invited him around to hers. Clint was pleasantly surprised by this turn of events. He picked up take away and headed to her place. He found her to live in a small house, hidden in the hills. Clint immediately loved how secluded it was. He knocked and waited for her to answer. She smiled when he entered, and he saw chaos strewn all over her coffee table. Medical reports. Certificates. Notebooks.  
“Sorry, since our last conversation, I’ve been trying to find out more about myself” She said “Please sit, plates and stuff are on the table”  
Clint did as asked and both sat at the table, sharing out their food. They both ate in companionable silence.  
“So, I’ve not found a lot out about what I was like before the coma. I’d not regularly been in hospital, or had no fines or trouble with the law. I didn’t even have a library card. The photos show me drinking, having fun and attending lots of fancy events, I looked up my CV on my old computer and apparently I’d never had a job, just bits of volunteering. At first glance it looks like, I was just a spoilt trust fund kid. No history of learning any other language except some Spanish, certainly no Russian and then being able to read it too? Or knowing how to do so many self defence moves, but not having the certificates to prove it”  
“I’m sure spoilt isn’t true”  
“Well it seems to be, since the accident I’ve been inspired to make changes, but I don’t what inspired me, was it the near death experience? I officially died for 15 minutes. But it’s not like I even had to learn. Did you ever watch the Matrix?” Kira asked with interest  
“Yeah” Clint asnwered “Confusing and puzzling as hell”  
“It was like, you know when Neo has all those programmes downloaded into his brain like the martial arts kong fu one, it’s kind of like that”  
“Well I don’t think we are in the Matrix, so there must be some other explanation” Clint said  
“I have dreams to, strange dreams, dreams that involve, well things I can’t explain...”  
“Can I, I mean do you write them down anywhere?” Clint asked  
“You know how to analyse dreams?” Kira asked  
“No, but I have a theory, I just want to check something before I tell you, so you don’t chuck me out immediately, and I really want to help you. I know what its like to be unmade”  
“OK, but please don’t judge” Kira said handing a book over to him  
Clint read through the pages, as Kira cleared up the things and waited  
“Wow!” He exclaimed finishing an entry  
“I know, I mean, It’s like some crazy action movie” Kira said “I’m holding a gun and I’m going to kill someone, then I’m dancing, like a professional, then I’m jumping from buildings...I don’t even like guns or violence. It should only be used in self defence and yet, why am I doing things? Am an evil person? Was I an evil person?” Kira continued looking at Clint and he caught a glimse at the arrow necklace around her neck.  
“Interesting choice of jewelery” He said nodding to the necklace  
“I woke up with this, well it was in my personal belongings”  
“Why an arrow?”  
“All I can think about, is maybe someone gave it to me to guide me, I mean arrows are used to guide people, maybe someone gave it to me to guide me to the right path or point me in the right direction”  
“It’s also the weapon I teach, and used in my previous role” Clint said  
“That could be a co-incidence” Kira said  
“Look, I’ve got a theory...”  
“OK, well tell me...can’t be any worse than me being an assassin who kills people, I mean that would be hard to bare”  
“I think, I think you might be my best friend” Clint said laying his cards on the table  
“Well I was hoping we were something more, but I can live with that...”  
“No, My best friend, the girl who died” Clint clarified  
Kira looked at him like he was crazy  
“Seriously? Reincarnation?” She said  
“Well no one knows what happens when you die, its a mystery and when people due they have different experiences, but some faith’s believe in reincarnation”  
“So your saying, somehow Natasha, your friend is inside my body and she is, what using my body?” Kira asked  
“Something like that, maybe the 2 of you are in there, I don’t know, this is all new to me too. When did you have your accident, and when did you die?”  
“I died on the 23rd May 2014 and woke up 2 weeks later”  
“That was when my friend died” Clint said “Natasha was Russian, she loved Russian literature, she spoke it fluently and fairytales were her guilty pleasure. She was able to dance, do ballet, she was able to defend herself in so many ways, she beat me sparring using that manouver you sued the last time we sparred...”  
“You said that was a few years ago, that’s more than a few years” Kira argued  
“Yeah, well it’s complicated.”  
“Are you sure your not seeing what you want to see? You want to see your best friend?”  
"I don’t know for certain” Clint admitted “But it makes some sense”  
“That’s crazy” Kira said “Surely after 9 years living in a body, rebuilding my life...I’d have noticed something”  
“Memory is tricky” Clint said “Scientist don’t understand half the stuff about what the brain can do yet, but it’s possible. I have a friend who may be able to help, she is an expert with people’s memories, help them remember things, even repressed memories, maybe she can help you”  
“Really?” Kira said sceptically  
“It’s worth a shot, don’t you want to know who you are?”  
“I’m Kira” She answered  
“Are you sure? I mean 100% sure you are Kira, even though you are nothing like what you seemed to be like before your accident? Please let me friend come, if I’m wrong, well you never have to see me again” Clint said  
Kira looked at him again before nodding. Clint was straight on the phone to call his friend. She wouldn’t be there till the morning, and Clint though Kira might need a little space, so left her alone for an evening. He was certain he was right. Well as certain as you could be, about something you knew nothing about anyway. He still hoped Kira felt that way in the morning, and would be willing to give it a try.


	6. Chapter 6

Wanda arrived the next day with a smile and Clint greeted her with a hug and smile, happy to see each other again.   
“So your message on the phone was very cryptic” She said  
“Yes, well I am hoping you can help me or help my friend Kira” Clint said   
“How?” Wanda asked  
“Your memory thing, you know what you did to Natasha? Pulling her past memories to the forefront and messing with her mind”  
“The thing that you threatened to put an arrow in me over?” Wanda said with a grin  
“In my defence I shouldn’t have told you, but you had just hurt my partner and best friend. I think I was entitled to be a little bit annoyed”  
“OK, so how will this help your friend?”  
“I think Kira is Natsaha” Clint said  
“Explain!” Wanda said taking a seat opposite Clint at the table  
“OK, so Kira was in an accident, she knows nothing of her past except what she had read. She knows how to speak Russian, yet can not find any evidence that she knew Russian before the accident. She knows marital arts even though she never had any training for it. Their are other things too, small things, she has an arrow she can’t remember getting, she died the same day Natasha did, she has some similar characteristics...”  
“A coincidence?” She answered  
“Can you just meet her, you said if I ever needed anything, and I really need this, if this is Natasha, then I want her back” Clint said with determination   
Wanda looked at Clint, and saw the determination in his features.  
"And Kira is up for it?" Wanda checked   
"She wants to find out about her past, and this is the way to do it"  
"I'm only doing this for you...and Nat." Wanda said and Clint smiled. 

That evening Wanda and Kira met at Kira's place. Clint introduced them and both smiled at each other, but there was a definite sense of unease from both of them, more so from Kira than Wanda who was looking at Kira with interest, and Clint was certain she was trying to see Natasha in the young woman and most likely struggling. They had something to eat before deciding that evening would be a good time. Kira enquired about how Wanda had her skills, and Wanda said she'd developed them over time. She explained what she would do to Kira, and how she would draw the memories from the back of her mind, or hidden memories and bring them to the forefront which would give her more of a chance to understand what's going on. Kira nodded, still not entirely certain how it would work, but she trusted Clint. If Clint trusted Wanda, then maybe she could find out about her past or even whether there was another person inside her. Both thoughts terrified and she wasn't to sure which one she would want more. 

Kira sat down and Clint sat beside her, offering to hold her hand. She declined, but he remained sitting with her in case, remembering when Wanda had messed with Natasha’s mind and finding it ironical that they were friends in the end, but then over time Natasha could see that Wanda was simply confused and controlled and most likely saw a kindred spirit in some way.   
“OK so you need to relax, you're going to feel strange. Clint’s going to stay with you until the effects leave you to ensure you are OK. Close your eyes” Wanda instructed quietly and calmly.   
Kira did as requested and Wanda did her thing, hands glowing a warm red, her eyes focused gently trying to pull the memories without hurting Kira in the process, pulling memories to the front of her brain. Clint watched her go into a trance, and made sure to stay beside, holding her hand gently trying to ground her despite her initial reluctance. Wanda stopped after a minute and sat waiting. She used a very mild spell, not wanting to over power Kira’s mind, she could use her power to bring more memories but she didn't like using her gifts on humans, too afraid of what could go wrong.   
“OK when she comes to, get her to talk about what she saw and see if she can write those memories down, more memories may appear tonight. If you want an opinion, I think you might be right, maybe there is some kind of door in her brain preventing her remembering who she is, I felt myself work through some kind of barrier”  
Clint nodded. After about 20 minutes Kira slowly began to come around. They both watched and waited. Clint noticed that Wanda must have been more gentle as Kira was coming out of the trance faster than Natasha had.   
“Hey” Clint said gently squeezing her hand “What did you see?”  
“I, it was dark and cold, there were lots of young girls, they were dancing, like in my dreams but then one of them had a gun and shot someone. I wasn’t her though, it was like watching a movie. She had red hair, and green eyes, and she, she killed a man. Then she was working for Mr. Stark, I think she was spying on him, she was dressed smartly you know, white shirt and black trousers. Then she was in some kind of battle, the same girl but she was a grown up, she had short red hair and was shooting alien creatures, you were there, you were shooting them together, she said something about Budapest, Budapest? I don’t think I’ve been there, but I feel like I want to, then there was Captain America and she in a car chase, with another guy, he’s black and flying, I don’t remember his name. She got shot by someone. Then she’s talking to lots of people on TV about her identities, then she’s in a warehouse and someone, you” She says pointing at Wanda ”You did something to her, She was fine, then you stood beside her and she stopped moving. Clint found her and guided her out. She went to a farm, and there was a family, your family I think? Then she was in a dungeon, she used some kind of code to get a message to you, but the Hulk came to rescue her, and she was helping on a flying hovercraft thinng, helping lots of people, she was a hero...”  
“What else?” Clint prodded   
“Then, then, you were fighting her, in an airport and Wanda was there too, she did something to that women’s leg, which knocked her off balance, then she was in some kind of battle with a big guy who had lots of stones, he, he did something and everyone disappeared except her and some of the other Avengers. She's alone in a big building, and she looked so sad, she was crying, tears in her eyes and eating a sandwich. She went to Tokyo and she found you, but you look different, like your hair, you, you were killing someone” She drew away from him slightly “...then she’s going through time, to get a stone, you’re there again, and she says ‘It’s OK” and she’s falling and then, then its beautiful it’s like swirls of purple and she seems happy, but then she’s hanging over me. I’m on the bed in hospital, and she fell on me, but she went right through me, and then I don’t know...and I jumped, my body jumped and doctors were excited because I was alive, and then nothing...” Kira finished looking flushed and confused   
Wanda listened and Clint looked at her for verification.  
“Those memories are what I recall reading about her and Steve in the shield files, and she remembered the red ring around her leg, plus I did that mind thing to her and the little details, but why is she seeing them Natasha’s view and not herself?” Wanda asked with interest  
“Maybe because that’s Tasha, at the end Natasha falls into Kira’s body, so it’s her rather than Natasha. I remember after you played with her mind, she saw everything like it was a movie”  
“I wish there was a way to know for certain” Wanda said sadly looking between them both  
"When you did that mind thing with Natasha, you must have used a more powerful form of your gift, as she was in a daze for a long while, and I don't think she was coherent"  
"I didn't have full control of my gift, and I was scared. I thought someone was trying to kill me" Wanda defended   
Kira looked between them taking it all in.   
"I wish I knew too, I wish I knew who I was...I thought...it would help but now, I mean she was right over me, and then she fell into me. It was like an out of body experience but it wasn't her body." Kira spoke softly yawning, before Clint escorted her to her room. She lay on the bed and fell asleep straight away  
“Make sure you stay with her, in case the memories bring forth nightmares” Wanda reminded him  
“Do you think it’s possible though, that she is Natasha reincarnated?” Clint asked with hope in his voice  
“Its hard to say for certain, I mean the memories are definitely Tasha’s, and she’d have to have access to Shield records, but I know Natahsa didn’t document everything”  
“So what should I do next?” Clint asked desperately  
“You’ve fallen in love, but who have you fallen for, Kira or Natasha?” Wanda said with a sad smile  
“What if their the same person now?” Clint asked with interest  
“You really think this is Natasha? You’ve done a background check on her. How can you be in love with 2 people?”  
"I could never be with Natasha, I was with Laura and what we had never developed further, but with Kira it's different...in some strange way, maybe it could be the best of both worlds and Yeah, I have a friend who used facial recognition software and found her name and details, her record before the accident is clean, she was wealthy I assume, but other than that, She didn’t work as anything in particular, at least nothing on record. I’ve shown her what I found, and she doesn’t remember any of it, but she remembers all things of Natasha’s...that’s not a coincidence”  
“Just don’t get hurt Clint, you decide what to do, I'll see if I can find a way to find out for certain but I don’t think anyone would know for certain.”  
“She died as that person on the day Steve returned the soul stone, then Tasha landing in her, come on that screams reincarnation?” Clint argued   
“Reincanrnation is difficult, you should look it up more before jumping to conclusion. Just be careful, OK. Believe what you want. I would just hate for you to get hurt” Wanda said with a smile leaving Clint to his thoughts and exiting the house silently. Clint sat on the sofa, softly putting the TV on and sat their waiting for Kira to awaken.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> OK So I hope this chapter isn't too confusing. If it is, let me know and I will try to find a way to simplify it. Kira has a one sided conversation with Natasha. Kira visits a shooting range. Kira and Clint finally lay it on the table. Could this be the happy ending we want?

Clint, not wanting to violate Kira’s privacy stayed in the lounge area, napping on the sofa. He didn’t hear a word from Kira all night, however went to check on her a few times and she appeared asleep, possibly exhausted from having her brain messed with, with the best intentions of course. Clint fell asleep in the early hours and awoke to the smell of coffee, wafting from the kitchen and the smell of bacon. He slowly sat up to get he’s bearings and found Kira gazing at him  
“Hey, I’ve done you a bacon sandwich and coffee” She said taking it over to him  
“Thanks” He answered “Did you sleep all of last night?”  
“I did, wierdest thing, I had no dreams...which was strange because I would have done, but maybe I was sleeping to heavily” Kira said taking a seat opposite Clint  
“It was a bit of knockout, do you regret it?” Clint asked nervously  
“No, it’s odd. I just would have thought if I was Natasha I’d feel different...” Kira said quietly  
“Look if you want to be Kira, you’ll still be Kira to me” Clint said with a smile  
“But what if I am Natasha? Kira was killed in an accident and Natasha is me, or am I part Kira and Tasha, or I don’t know! I just wish I had something more concrete, I’m so confused. I don’t even know how I’m feeling about this all?!”  
“Natasha was conditioned to forget things at a young age. She never liked revisiting her past” Clint said “It was always difficult for her, even to talk about things. She trusted very few people”  
“So, if I am Natasha, why can’t I remember you? You were obviously an important person to her, why can’t I remember that?” Kira said  
“How do you know I’m important to her?” Clint asked curiously  
“Because she was important to you, I think you would have been important to her, I think it might explain my ease around you at the beginning. I'm not normally at ease around men I don't know.”  
“Maybe because your body hasn’t lived through that or maybe it’s behind like a door and you need to trigger a release button? I don’t know to be honest this is all new to me” Clint confessed quietly   
“But I feel attracted to you, you said Natasha and you were only friends...so am I still here too? Is Kira still here? Am I somehow a hybrid of Kira and Natasha?”  
Clint answered quietly “Maybe because you physically haven’t been through everything she has, your body and your mind is in a bit of a muddle...maybe you’ve still got some of Kira’s feelings and they are mixed in with Natahsa’s? Maybe you are actually just Kira, and somehow just have Tasha’s memories?”  
“So whose feeling what? This just got really confusing for me. I’ve too much information in my head, I mean am I kira or Natasha? Am I neither? Am I both? Do I have to choose who to be? It’s like having multiple personalities but not really knowing any of them.” Kira said with exhaustion “And we are just going in circles”  
“I’m sorry, do you want some space for a bit?” Clint asked gently  
“Maybe, can we meet on Monday evening after class?” Kira said “We can talk more?”  
“Sure, are you going to be OK?” Clint said, though Kira appeared fine.  
“Yeah, I just, I think I need some time to work through this….” Kira said with a small smile  
Clint left with a smile, kissing her cheek  
“You know where I am if you need anything, any time” He said turning to face her  
“Yeah, thanks” Kira said seeing Clint out.

Kira sat on the sofa, and shut her eyes, trying to draw Natasha to the forefront of her mind again.  
“So, do you love him Natasha or is it just Kira? Yep I am talking to you, kinda, see if you have any ideas. Now would be great if you know what’s going on. I mean he is obviously in love with you or was in love with you, soulmates maybe, apparently they always find each other, but he likes me, so is he in love with you or me? Are we the same person or are we 2 people in one body? I thought with reincarnation everything just transferred you to a new body, all thoughts in tact. I didn’t think it would be so confusing...but if I am Natasha Romanoff...how do I get my memories back? Is there a key or is it like Clint says, a door opens and your free to take me over completely? Do I want to be you Natasha Romanoff, I mean it seems like you’ve had a tough life, you’ve been through so much, I mean, well not being able to have children but then I don’t really remember anything about Kira, was she even a nice person. She sounded kind of boring to be honest. I’ve kind of rebuilt myself, but how much is me and how much is you Natsaha or have we made a new person?... And right now I’m just talking in circles and should stop. I will tell you one thing, I want to be with Clint, I feel so drawn to him, did you feel the same way Natasha and you couldn’t act on it? I mean you were partners and they always say on TV shows you should never date your partner. Do you feel the same way? But then you sacraficed yourself to save people including him, he had to lose thing he loved the most...and if you were willing to kill youself for him, you must love him, you don’t just sacrifice yourself for anybody...well maybe for all the people who were wiped out, but still, Did you do it so Clint could be with his family? If you loved Clint, it would have been perfect, without his family he could have been yours, but then maybe you did love him too much and put his happiness above your own, I would do that , well I would now. I’d like to think Kira would, but I don’t really know to be honest, Natasha sounds brave, I’m not brave, I’m lost, so lost and when I met Clint, it felt like I had begun to find my way again...” Kira relaxed for a minute before continuing. She didn’t seem to get any responses from Natasha or even feel another person was in her mind. Was that a good or bad thing? “Maybe you and Kira can live in harmony or is Kira like a host...but then does Natasha control my body? I mean it’s my body, the pictures of me before the accident match up to how I look, but inside, is it Kira? I mean I didn’t know that I knew all those combat moves, I don’t remember being taught them...and firing a weapon...” She stopped for a second and had an idea. She called up a friend who owned a firing range and asked to borrow a firearm. Her friend was more than happy to oblige and Kira set off with an idea in mind.

Kira arrived at the firing range, and was shown an area with a target, headphones and told the basic ins and outs and the rules.  
“Can I try a hand gun?” She asked handing over her driving licence  
“Of course” Her friend obliged “I didn’t know you want to take up shooting”  
“A friend is interested and I wanted to see what it’s like” Kira said with a smile  
“Do you need a walk through?” He asked gently  
“Just a quick safety run down...” Kira assured him  
“OK, well those are rubber bullets for a start, you’ve got amo, just point at your target and pull the trigger to shoot” He said “You might get some kick back, so stand in a secure position, one leg behind the other, shoulder width apart”  
He stood with her and helped her do the first one. He then took a step back and she did a second one herself.  
“Good you’ve got it, just let me know if you need any help” He said going off to supervise someone else.  
Kira held the gun, it felt strange and alien, heavy and cold. She felt no familiarity with the gun or holding a weapon. She’d never been inclined to hold or use one. She fired off the round, and by the time it got to the 5th time she felt more comfortable, like she’d been doing it for longer than 10 minutes. She continued to fire until she finished the round. She asked her friend for some more bullets, he obliged and offered to help.  
“Can you just watch, and let me figure it out?” Kira said some instinct telling her she’d know what to do.  
“Is your safety on?” He asked  
“Yes, It is” Kira said with a smile  
“OK, just make sure you keep it pointed downwards towards the range” He advised  
Kira looked at clip, took a deep breath before expertly taking the old clip out and placing the new one in. It was relatively simple she found. Her friend watched with a smile  
“Your a natural” He commented  
She took off the safety and shot off the remaining clip, and while she knew she was doing it, she felt like something was in her mind directing her, even her stance felt more powerful, she felt more powerful. She had a new target set, and shot off the clip in quick succession barely, taking minimal time between shots, like she knew were to hit and didn’t bother checking again. When she finished and placed the gun down, her friend brought the target back to her and looked at her in shock, at the cluster around the head compared with her first turn when they’d been all over the target.  
“You’ve never done this before?” He asked in amazement  
“Not that I can remember” She murmered  
“Wow. You don’t, you don’t plan to get one do you?” He asked “I mean, you can obviously get one if you want...  
“No, I’ve no real interest in guns, like I said a friend is and I wanted to see what I was missing out on and it turns out, not a lot. Thanks for today. It’s been really helpful.”  
She took off the ear defenders before smiling at her friend and leaving the range, breathing in a sigh as she left. She couldn’t believe she had done that, and she hated to admit it, but she didn’t feel in control at all, it felt like someone else was directing her, telling her what to do, like she was possessed. She sighed before deciding she couldn’t wait till Monday.

She stopped at the cafe to grab his favourite drink and arrived at his place, quietly knocking on the door.  
“Kira” Clint said with a smile  
“Hi, so I’ve just been to a firing range and fired a weapon...” She began with nervously  
“OK. Why did you go there?” Clint asked already half suspecting her answer  
“You said Natasha was good in combat, and I remember her holding a gun in my dreams, plus other weapons, so I decided to give it ago” She said and pulled out her target handing it to Clint who looked at it in amazement .  
“To my knowledge I have never fired a gun before, yet I managed to get a good round cluster in quick succession barely taking a break between shots...I mean that’s got to mean something right?” She asked  
“Sure” Clint said  
“Look I really like you Clint, but I need to know who you love, is it me or Natasha?” Kira said with finality   
“Can’t it be both?” Clint asked  
“I don’t know. What if my memories come back one day and I’m Kira or who Kira was before the accident, or Natasha’s memories and I’m her...what will you do then? What if she doesn't want to be with you romantically?”  
“Then I’ll love her, I'd rather she be in my life as a friend than not at all, but I do love you. Look you remind me of her, but I fell physically for Kira, not Natasha, and there are some things Natasha would never be, you are more open about things than her, more open to ideas...but I loved Natasha and I always will in part, so I don’t know what will happen if she comes back or you stay. I really, really want you whoever you are, it just feels like we’re woven together, 2 half’s of a whole, so even if you are never going to be Natasha, I still want you Kira. If you’re willing to give it a chance?” Clint said uncertainly looking at her with earnest eyes.  
Kira gazed at Clint, taking in his steady, soulful eyes and calm manner. She lent forward gently capturing his lips in a kiss, as he slowly wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer to him and she ran a hand up he’s back. They pulled away for a second before gazing at at each other.  
“My Hawk” She whispered in Russian softly  
He gazed into her eyes, and saw her eyes almost take on a greener shade than usual. Clint sighed before deepening the kiss. One thing led to another and they ended up in his bedroom, lazily kissing on the bed, before they began stripping away each other clothes. They made love, unhurried, unrushed, taking all the time in the world, at one point Clint groaned Natasha’s name, and then Kira’s name, but Kira didn’t seem to notice, too lost in the moment and wondering why she had waited so long. Both fell asleep in each others arms, Clint with a smile on he’s face. They slept heavily through the night before waking in the morning. Clint woke up feeling something different around him. He gazed at Kira, laying asleep, hair lose and her arrow necklace still around her neck. She sleepily opened her eyes, before a look of realisation, she shut them again before sitting up in bed suddenly taking a deep breath, like she was gasping for air, panicing.  
“Kira?” Clint asked. Something was wrong, the woman in front of him looked terrified.  
“Whose Kira?” She asked “Clint, why did we...why are we both naked?”


	8. Chapter 8

Clint was now very much awake looking at the jumpy woman beside him, reminding him of the first time Natasha had let her guard down when he'd found her.   
“OK, who are you...” Clint asked  
“Have you been drugged? Have I got a concussion? Or do you have a concussion?” The woman’s voice said before she pulled up the blanket and grabbed her discarded clothing leaving a puzzled Clint in her wake trying to look away.  
“Natasha...” He said quietly  
“Of course, who else...” The annoyed tone said looking at him like he was stupid.  
“Natasha, look in the mirror” Clint said gently pointing to mirror in the room.  
“Clint, why are you messing around…” Kira/Natasha said following Clint’s direction  
Clint got up and directed her to the mirror in his room. Natasha looked at herself, her body was very different. She had dirty dark blonde hair with red half way down, she was a little taller, not as curvy and her appearance seemed ‘softer’. She didn’t recognise herself which worried her even more. 

“OK Clint, what the fucks happened to me?” She asked looking at him for an explanation “Have I got some kind of disguise on again? Are we undercover?”  
“My theory, well when Steve returned the soul stone, it released your soul, your soul didn’t have your body to go into, so it found another host who had just died and stayed there. Your host was called Kira. She had no memory of what happened to her before her accident...” Clint began  
“Aliens and magic again?” Natasha said looking at him  
“Not quite, something we were never trained in all the same, well I don’t know….but you remember you’re Natasha?” Clint said  
“I am, I mean I do, I just….” Natasha said looking around, seemingly slightly calmer, though confused as hell. She slowly finished dressing, and Clint respected her need for space keeping his distance.  
“It’s a lot to take in, do you want some space?” Clint asked knowing that Natasha liked space when things became overwhelming, or small safe places to hide depending on how she was feeling at the time. Natasha shook her head softly, though still looking confused like the time Clint had first found her when he decided to spare her life.

“What was the last thing you remember?” Clint asked sliding into some clothes Natasha had tossed him.  
“Falling, falling from the cliff. I’m guessing we got the stone OK and everything returned to normal?” Natasha spoke curiously with teptation in her tone.  
“Yes in part. What else?” Clint answered  
“No. Tell me everything” Natasha said taking a breath but still keeping herself from Clint.  
“Well Kira and I met, we got talking, hanging out, and I just felt like drawn to her, like I couldn’t even understand. Then she had an arrow necklace, Russian fairy tales even though she doesn’t remember knowing Russian before the accident...and then we started hanging out, she had this thing for Ginger and Peppermint tea, which you like, and she taught self-defence and she was pretty good at it, we sparred and she held her own...Wanda came when I started to question things and released some of your memories the other night, Kira and I slept together last night and this morning, you’re, well you” He finished still holding himself back he desperately wanted to hug her.  
“OK, so I take it we were able to undo the snap? Wanda’s back, how’s she doing? Everyone came back to life? Why aren’t you with Laura and the kids?” She asked  
Clint answered quietly seeing Natasha buying herself some time to think about what he’d said. He’d give her as long as she needed.  
“Wanda's as well as can be. Laura and I, we weren’t working anymore Tasha, and it was just better for everyone” Clint said keeping his eyes downcast  
“But you still see your kids right?” Natasha asked a desperate tone in her voice. The kids were the biggest reason she chose to make the sacrifice. She may not have given birth but she loved those kids more than anything and knew Clint did too.  
“Yeah, whenever I want” Clint reassured her “everyone came back Tash, you did it... But we lost Tony”  
“I knew” Tasha said “Somehow I knew you’d guys had won, Tony self sacrifice again?”  
“Yeah seems to be a lot of that going round” Clint said looking at his best friend “Wanda said you would have done”  
“So, let me get this straight, I’m still Natasha Romanoff in another body?” Natasha questioned drawing their conversation back to the issue at hand.  
“Something like that” Clint said  
Natasha could see Clint wanted to hug her, but was holding back until she got her bearings. He always respected her, had from the first moment he’d met her and it was good to see things hadn’t changed.  
“So did you and Kira, did you have a thing?” She asked  
“We, well yeah we did” Clint answered  
“OK...I’m sorry” Natasha said still processing “I’m going to head out for a bit, to get some air”  
“Yeah, sure no problem” Clint said awkwardly moving away

She looked at him and felt an unwavering sense of love towards him. Whatever happened he was still Clint, her best friend who watch her fall to her death after failing to stop her and had no doubt felt guilty ever since. Clint carefully held his body still looking into her eyes seeking permission, making sure the ball was in her court. Her eyes met his, those warm, loving and soulful eyes she realised just how much she’d missed them.  
“You can hug me Clint” She said with a small smile  
He moved towards her slowly. His arms moved around her waist, and one around her shoulders pulling her into his body. She found her head resting in the crook of his neck and felt the slight shaking of his body.  
“Oh Tasha, Tasha, Tasha” He murmured and she felt something slide down her neck, a tear she deduced.  
“I know your going, and I want you to have space, but I don’t want to let you out of my sight, promise you’ll come back... I can’t lose you again” Clint complained  
“I’ll be back, I just, need some air. We’re safe here yeah?” She asked  
“Yeah, no one but my kids and Laura know about this place and Wanda” Clint answered  
“I’ll avoid any cliffs or drops, I promise” She said trying to make light of the situation leaving the room. 

She left, picking up a bag at door that she assumed was Kira’s in case she needed to buy anything. She looked through it briefly and found Kira’s driving licence, which included her address and her keys. She thought for a second, before deciding to investigate. She used the GPS on her phone to direct her to Kira’s home or her home now she guessed. She followed the directions, though at a few points thought someone was following her but chalked it up to her paranoia. She continued to walk, he body tense in case. She hoped this body could move fast if she needed to. As she turned a corner, she ducked into a doorway and waited. Her heart returned to regular beat, when she realised who was following her. She noticed a shadow on top of the building and continued to walk towards her destination. He always did see better from afar. 

As she got to her house, she found a woman waiting outside. She approached with caution, of course not knowing who this woman was.  
“Kira? Kira, is it really you?” She asked with a smile  
Natasha looked behind her, she could really do with Clint’s help. Did she know this woman? As he turned again she saw him coming out of the trees, like he’d been there all the time. He’d always known when she needed him.  
“Hey Kira” He said “I’m sorry, I’m Clint. We haven’t been introduced”  
“Oh, are you Kira’s boyfriend? I’m Michelle, I used to be friends with Kira before her accident”  
Clint looked at her, his mind going through the pictures Kira had shown him, of who she was before, well the pictures she could find .  
“Kira and I were looking at some photos the other day, weren’t we? She was in a photo, and you’d written Michelle on the back”  
“Of course, sorry, It’s been a tough morning” Natasha answered  
“No problem, I’m sorry I couldn’t come earlier, may I, may I come in or did you want to meet me at the local cafe? I’d love to chat. You can bring Clint too” She said  
“The cafe sounds good, right Clint?” Natasha asked  
“Sure, meet us there in about an hour?” Clint suggested  
“Perfect, well I will see you in an hour” Michelle said turning and leaving  
“You followed me?” She asked “I saw you on the roof tops, you’re really out of practice”  
“Bet you’re glad I did now, I’m sorry, I just...I’ve just got you back, I can’t have you out of my sight just yet” He apologised  
“Don’t worry, so you going to show me around the house?” She asked “before our date with  
Michelle?”  
Natasha opened the door, an alien feeling as she walked through the door, yet somehow she felt comfortable and it was familiar.  
“OK, so first of all, let’s get your pictures so I can show you Michelle” Clint said heading to Kira’s photo album and pulling it down from the shelf . He opened it and found Michelle and Kira’s picture  
“This was you guys at a charity ball” Clint said reading the back of the photo  
“OK, so that checks out” Natasha said  
“Kira had a list of questions, she wrote down all the questions about her past she hoped one day someone would answer, I think it’s in her dream journal” He got a book down and a piece of paper fell out “So these were questions, maybe we could ask Michelle and get to know what kind of person Kira was, maybe it could help you, work out how your feeling?”  
Natasha nodded in agreement and continued to explore the apartment, checking out the books, most were her taste, and the DVD and music collection, a mix of hers and someone else’s. The apartment had a few more home comforts that Natasha would have had, but nothing was pink or too bright or something she’d never chosen in a million years.  
“Anything?” Clint asked  
“I feel like I know this place” She answered still taking in everything, all the details  
“We should go, if we’re going to make it to the cafe. Did you want to walk and clear your head? I can drive and meet you there?” Clint offered  
“No, it’s OK. Maybe, maybe some space once I know more would be good” Natasha allowed though was secretly happy Clint wanted to walk with her, at the moment he was her sole comfort.

They slowly made there way to the cafe, deep in their own thoughts, hands occasionally brushing too close to each other, When they arrived, the noticed Michelle sitting by the window watching them. Clint gently put a hand on Natasha’s back and guided her through the door.  
“This is where Kira and I met” Clint said quietly and Natasha nodded “Is there anything I need to know, you know that will make me more, like Kira?  
“No I don’t think so” Clint answered with a smile before heading off to get their drinks, leaving Natasha to head to the table where her 'friend' was waiting.   
“Hi” Michelle said with a smile and Natasha was glad she didn’t try to hug her “Oh he is well trained”  
“He is pretty lovely” Natasha allowed honestly   
“So how did you guys meet?” Michelle asked  
“We met here funnily enough” Natasha said with a smile  
“Wow a coffee shop meeting, I only thought they happened in movies” Michelle said good naturedly and Natasha nodded.   
“So forgive me, but how did we meet?” Natasha asked  
“We met at a charity gala, you made a very generous donation to Save the Children fund”  
“I’m glad it went to a good cause” Natasha said  
“Oh you were all about good causes” Michelle assured her “After that we sort of became friends”  
Natasha nodded as Clint came over and placed her drink in front of her  
“Did I miss much?” He asked  
“No, just the basics” Michelle said with a smile “If you want to ask me anything about you before the accident, feel free to” Michelle said  
“You had a list Kira, remember all those questions you wanted answered after your accident” Clint prompted  
Natasha nodded before pulling the list out of his pocket.   
“Oh that’s a good idea” Michelle answered   
“Well after the accident, nobody seemed close enough to answer any of these questions so I was hoping you could help me” Natasha said smiling sweetly  
“I’ll try” Michelle agreed “I’m afraid if already left by that point”  
“Did I have a job?” She asked  
“No you didn’t, your parents were wealthy, and when they died they left you enough money to live on, you helped out with some charity things which was how we met” Michelle answered with a smile  
“Was I seeing anybody?” Natasha asked   
“No, I mean guys wanted to date you, but only because of your money, you were quite sheltered really and you didn’t have an interest in anyone as far as I was aware”  
“Did I enjoy dancing? When I woke up I really enjoyed doing dancing and wondered if I had liked to before? "  
“Yes, like ballroom dancing, but only because your parents forced you, for when you came out” Michelle said “You didn’t particularly like any other dancing, you lacked a fair bit of co-ordination, unless you had a drink in you, then you were all over the place”  
“So I didn’t know ballet?” Natasha confirmed  
“No, you just knew ballroom” Michelle answered “I mean we weren’t best friends, but you told me a fair bit about yourself”  
“What about other fitness things?” Natasha enquired  
“Kira does personal training now” Clint said with a smile “We were training before dating”  
“Now that's changed. You never liked the gym, or working out but you always ate healthy food and were into whatever craze was around at the time.”  
“Oh, well what about self defence?” Natasha tried again skimming Kiras list for further questions as some seemed very mundane to her.   
“No again. You opposed any kind of violence whether it was against animals or people, you went on a march against animal testing, which apparently got you in trouble with your Father. Your father had a selection of guns, and once he passed away you sold them all, and used the money to help fund a ‘Toys for Guns” drive, so you never had to touch a gun again, but you had a good security system so you weren’t worried about anything” Michelle said with a smile  
“Oh, What kind of food did I like?” Nastasha asked with a smile “Because now I eat just about anything”  
“Healthy rubbish, sorry sweety. When we went out you would have a chicken salad with a diet soda, no dressing. I don’t know if you still do, you used to eat like a rabbit, you were always healthy though. I was always having big boxes of popcorn for our movie nights and you’d be munching on celery or carrots with a low fat dip. I was always so envious you had the will power to do that. Looks like you’ve filled out a bit. You look healthier now”  
“Did I speak any language?” Natasha questioned knowing this sounded like an interview but these had obviously been important to Kira and in turn were important to her.  
“Spanish, because when you grew up you had Spanish staff, and you wanted to know what they were saying so you learnt it at school but your weren’t confident in it”  
Natasha looked at the list. Kira sounded really boring, and glanced at Clint to find him looking surprised at that revelation, possibly thinking along similar lines, but she appeared really kind giving so much money to charity.  
“Your parents died a few year before your accident. They were killed in a car accident.” Michelle said “I don’t know if anyone told you how they died. You were living on your own for 2 years before you met me”  
“I knew about that” Natasha lied “I found an article about it in a scrap book”  
“Have you any more questions?” Michelle asked “I brought some photo’s to look at, I love your new hair by the way, reds a good colour on you”  
“Well after the accident I felt like a change” She answered feeling a little more confident .

“So what do you do for work?” Michelle asked “I mean I guess you work now  
“I’m a self defence trainer and teach dance to children” Natasha supplied glad Clint had filled her in about the basic things Kira did for work.  
“Oh wow, that’s something I never thought I’d see, self defence too?” Michelle said in surprise  
“Yeah, I thought why not, you know rebuild myself, like I had no memories so I could be anyone I wanted to be” Natasha said with a smile  
“It’s great you got yourself, your funds were running low just before I left, and you were looking for some part time work” Michelle said with a smile “Next your be telling me you like shooting guns...What do you do Clint?”  
“I teach archery” He answered with a smirk  
“Wow, I mean the previous guys you dated before the accident, like I said all came from money, but you work in a more hands on job too. You 2 met in the cafe, but have you taken each other classes? I mean I liked you before the accident but now you are so much more interesting. Your dating someone who has a hands on job, Are you learning Russian? I saw the Russian fairy tales on the side by the door, you teach self defence and help people look after themselves and teach children how to dance and enjoy dance, next your be telling me you know how to handle a gun and firing arrows” Michelle said with a chuckle  
“She’s done both” Clint answered with another laugh  
“Wow, even shot a gun? You’re like, an entirely new person. I like how you remade yourself” Michelle said with a smile “You seem happier too, and just more thoughtful. I don’t know how else to say it, I mean you used to give money, but now you are more hands on and give time.”  
“People do change” Natasha answered with a gentle smile  
“Did you find out what happened? what caused your accident?” Michelle asked  
Clint answered for Natasha, he hadn’t told her yet how Kira had been found.  
“She had a fall from a height” He kept it short, wanting to tell Natasha all the details later.  
“Wow, it must have been some height, but you look well”  
“Yeah, I guess I got lucky” Natasha answered  
They did idle chit chat until Michelle looked at her watch.  
“Right, well I need to go, I’ve got to meet my husband and we fly back tomorrow, but I am so happy to see you are well, I’m sorry I didn’t come earlier, like I said I didn’t realise till I was talking to some of our old teacher friends” Michelle  
“Well it’s great to hear some stories from my past and thank you for answering some questions for me” She said with a small smile.

Michelle left and Clint studied Natasha carefully trying to work out what was on her mind.  
“Do you still need some air?” Clint asked “The walk back to yours isn’t long, I can go back to mine and meet you there?” He offered  
“Maybe, can you walk with me, maybe talk more?” Natasha said as she set off to walk to her home  
“Yeah, of course I can” Clint said with a smile following her faithfully.  
They both walked, Clint leading the way through a wooded area when Natasha seemed uncertain.  
“It’s really pretty quiet out here” Natasha said  
“I like it, plus it’s close to my kids, so I’m happy” Clint said with a smile  
“Yeah, so you still get to see them?” Natasha said with a smile  
“Yeah, I mean I love them, and I will forever be grateful that they were able to return to my life even though I don’t always think I deserve them” Clint confessed   
“Don’t think like that, you were dealing with grief, with anger. At least you were only punishing bad people” Natasha said “Its just easier to turn your attention elsewhere than worry about your problems”  
“I still took lives, even though they did nothing to me…but I can’t wait for them to see you, Leila’s missed you.” Clint said  
“They would have gone on to hurt others, you protected a lot of people removing the threats. Though there are healthier ways to grieve apparently, and I can’t wait to see you girls again”  
“So, it’s really you?” Clint asked looking at her  
“It must be, unless you told Kira about Tokyo?” Natasha said in question  
“No I never did” He said looking at her with a grin  
“Michelle was interesting to talk to” Natasha continued  
“Yeah she was, I mean that Kira before the accident, and that wasn’t at all like the Kira that spoke to me at the cafe, do you remember anything before yesterday when you were Kira?” Clint asked with interest  
“I remember bits like I remember seeing you in the cafe and being drawn to you, but I didn’t know why...then I remember us sparring on the mat during a class I was teaching, I remember doing archery with you and going to the firing range...it’s like I remember things that I would have done, like picking up Russian Fairy tales and reading it. I’m sorry about this morning, I was just...”  
“Scared?” Clint supplied  
“I didn’t understand the situation” Natasha settled on “...and these thoughts have only just started coming back to me as we’ve been spending time together, and listening to your stories, like I needed a jolt to remember, hearing you talk about it...it was good but like a movie, like I was trying to work out when I had seen a movie about this girl...I don’t remember the last time I watched a movie”  
“So you remember all the things that were Natasha and some of things from Kira?” Clint questioned  
“Yeah...it’s strange.” Natasha spoke tilting her head “I still don’t really know what to make of it, but I remember the firing range, and I remember us sparring, the kind of things I did as Natasha rather than things Kira did apparently”  
“Do you, do you remember last night?” Clint asked nervously  
“No I don’t” Natasha answered tilting her head “But we’ve fallen asleep next to each other, I’d just never fallen asleep next to you naked”  
“Oh” Clint said sadly, trying to work how honest Natasha was being. It had been a while, and talking about feelings was always more difficult for Natasha than it was for him.  
“I’m sorry, I freaked a bit this morning” She apologised maintaining eye contact  
“Hey it’s completely understandable, I’m just...” Clint trailed off and Natasha glanced at him, he didn’t have his sunglasses on “I wanted a second chance, you know, a chance to see you, to talk to you, to apologise, too be angry at you for taking that leap but so happy that I had my children back and we saved all those people. It just felt, like I didn’t deserve to be happy after your sacrifice” Clint finished looking down  
“That’s why I did it” Natasha said with a sad smile “I wanted you to be happy, have your family back, you deserve everything and more, and if I was able to give you back what you loved, and help lots of people, well I was pretty happy with that ending, I wiped my ledger”  
“And you know what lives with me, more than anything...” Clint spoke softly “You had to sacrifice what you loved the most, so maybe...maybe it wouldn’t have worked if I’d fallen, but you were, are what I love the most...I mean I love my kids and even Laura, but I honestly didn’t think about them after I told you to tell them I loved them, it was you, you were all I could think about in that moment, and when I returned...and when we won the battle, you were the first person I wanted to check on, to make sure you were OK, and just you know how we reassure each other after battles...I wanted my partner, best friend...”  
“Clint, I’m glad you were able to see your family again” Natasha settled on with a smile taking his hand gently “Even if you and Laura didn’t work out, you had your children. How is Nate doing?”  
“Growing, oh he’s so big now, he’s so cute...and Leila is learning archery, I’ve been teaching her and she’s a natural”  
“Like her Dad” Natasha said with a smile  
“Yeah, like her old man, she’s also learning Russian...because of you”  
“Well she I is going to be very gifted, speaking multiple languages and being an archer” Natasha said with a smile  
“I hope so” Clint agreed “I just wish she would grow up a bit slower you know, she’s growing up to fast amf Cooper is a handful, but then young boys are apparently” He said with a smile.

Natasha stopped in a clearing to sit by a tree  
“So, did you, did you love Kira?” She asked  
“I did” Clint asked “But I loved the Kira I knew, I wouldn’t have loved the one before the accident”  
“She wasn’t afraid of her feelings was she?” Natahsa asked  
“She was less guarded, cautious but she trusted her instincts. I think that's what drew me to her, then there was the red hair, then the Russian fairytales and she was wearing your arrow necklace, so I think I was drawn to you, just a more...watered down you” Clint said with a smile  
Natasha nodded looking at the sky, Clint and and her sitting shoulder to shoulder.  
“Look I don’t, I mean I know you liked Kira but...” Clint started “Look Nat, to be honest I am happy. I get my second chance to be with my best friend and I’m happy with that, I’m happy I get you back because it sucked lving without you. I had a gaping hole, my family had a gaping hole and Laura tried but she was never enough to fill that hole”  
Natasha turned him to look at her, both leaning forward gently resting foreheads on each other. Natasha looked like she wanted to say something, but held off.

They slowly made their way back to Kira’s place. Clint said he was tired so went to lie down for a bit. Natasha wasn’t tired, she was thoughtful. She sat downstairs going through the house, and found a photo of Kira and Clint, smiling goofily at the camera. It was a funny shot and beside was a set of 4 that you get from a photo booth, both looking sweet and very much having a great time. She looked around and found his key on the side, with a hawk keyring. His shoes were abandoned in a messy fashion by the door, he’s clothes strewn all over the place, the odd sock and she smiled feeling a sense of comfort. Outside of Laura he was always quote messy. She returned her gaze to the photos and saw how happy she looked, relaxed arm strewn around he’s shoulder laughing at the camera. She looked like she was in love.

Natasha had seen that look on people. She took a seat, she was no longer an Avenger. She was no longer a spy. She no longer had nothing. She had a base she could live, and she had Clint back. She hadn’t admitted to Clint in the clearing but the last thought she had, the last thing she wished she had said before she fell was ‘I love you’. She loved him. She died to save everyone, but most importantly she had died to save the man she loved, so he could return to his family and be happy. She should have known it wouldn’t have worked out that way, but when she died she knew she had saved the only man she had ever truly loved, who saw her and saved her from what she was. She’d repaid her debt and now the slate was clean. So why couldn’t she tell Clint she loved him? She had no more red in her ledger. She was free, yet she still felt trapped. She made her way to the room and gazed at Clint as he slept. She lay beside him deciding on her next move.

As she came to a conclusion, he slowly woke up from the nap to find her gazing at him  
“Tasha?” He said quielty, a question on he’s lips, almost like he was thinking it was a memory  
“Yes” She answered laying next to him before rolling over to face away from him, pretending to cough as an excuse.  
“Just checking you were still you” He said with a smile she didn’t see “Can I …Can I have a hug now?” He questioned to her back "I feel I need another"  
Damn, she thought before rolling over and sliding into he’s arms, feeling his heart beat in his chest, though she spoke softly gazing down at his body and taking a breath, it was easier to talk without eye contact expecially with regards to emotions.  
“I lied...” She began “I, well I’m not good with emotions, when I fell from the cliff, you know the one thing I wished I told you, I wish rather than telling you it was OK, I wish, I wish I’d told you I loved you” She felt Cint stop he’s gentle shoulder rub for a second before continuing “I think, I was so relieved when I freed you from Loki, when I helped you but I still, I don’t know, I still felt like I owed you which is what I chalked my feelings up to, because people confuse being saved with love, and that person who saves them gets a hero complex from the person they saved and I always thought that was what it was. But since I fell, since I’ve been back I feel no need to repay a debt, I died to save you, to save thousands of people, I no longer have red in my ledger and I felt trapped, and I should feel free but I still feel like I’m trapped, and the only way I feel free is when I am with you, just the two of us...I remember last night, I remember it clearly even though I wasn’t sure it was me, it was like mind control, watching someone through your body but being unable to stop it. I felt and saw so much, and it was everything I thought it would be”  
“So what does this mean Tasha?” Clint asked  
“Look, I’m new to this, this relationship thing...I’ve never had one before but I now want one, and I want it, with you. So if you’ll just be patient..” Natasha spoke softly  
“Always” Clint said looking down to meet Tash’s eyes and Natasha lifted her head to gaze at him  
“I mean, you don’t just jump off a cliff for anyone” She said making Clint chuckle “and if it had been the other way around, and you would have died, we’d still have got the soul stone, because it would have known, that I sacrificed who I loved the most”  
Clint looked at her, gazing into her green eyes before leaning forward and capturing her lips in a kiss.  
"We'll take things slow" Clint promised  
"Yeah, dead slow" Natasha answered.


	9. Chapter 9

Authors Note: So to recap Natasha’s soul has returned to a new body, and as it is Natasha’s soul I’ve opted to continue to call her Natasha in this narrative.

They had every intention of taking things slow. Natasha had decided to keep Kira’s identity. Natasha Romanoff had died at the bottom of the cliff. Kira had a fresh start. The name change took surprisingly little time to get used to. Clint loved having Natasha back. Clint thought he would find it odd, Natasha being in Kira’s body, but he grew to love it. Kira was beautiful, in a different way to Natasha’s body. Kira was taller with softer curves, rounder face and kinder eyes unless she was sparring with Clint or doing some form of martial arts, then you could see Natasha's gaze break through. Her stance was the same though, she now stood taller thank Kira had done when she was talking to people, she portrayed a confidence that Kira didn’t have. She was a wonderful blend of everything Clint loved and inside she was still ‘his’ Natasha.

Natasha surprisingly got used to her new body quickly. She liked the fact Kira looked healthier and blended in more, rather than standing out with Natasha’s classic movie star looks. She didn’t look like a threat, but she could handle herself if she had to. She liked people not knowing about her, she had escaped from Shield entirely, she no longer had to worry about saving the world, happy to let others do the work. She decided that even if Nick Fury came back, she wouldn’t return to Shield or the Avengers. She found she enjoyed teaching sports and defence, helping people in a different way and best of all she felt her ledger was clear. No more blood, no more horrors, her sacrifice had wiped the slate and she felt surprisingly light, the weight and pressure removed from her shoulders. She still remembered what Natasha had been through, but those nightmares didn’t touch her, though she feared her fall would. She slept soundly at night, no longer on alert and felt safe and secure in Clint’s arms. 

It was Friday evening which had become ‘Movie night’. Though most of the time they spoke during the movie, rather than watched the movie. Clint was curious about Natasha’s health and Natasha wanted to ensure Clint was OK.   
“Would you be an Avenger?” Clint asked Natasha “Not Shield?”  
“To be honest I don’t miss it, I thought I was, but since I’m kind of blended with Kira and Kira, Kira is built differently. Conditioned differently in a strange kind of way. I don’t, I don’t feel I need the thrill anymore. I’m back. I’ve got a second chance I thought I’d never have. I’m not going to take any chances” Natasha said with a smile “ I knew every battle could be my last and I don't want to live that way”  
“I like these changes” Clint said quietly   
“Changes?” Natasha questioned   
“You, I mean since you’ve come back, your still Natasha and I love that you want to spend time being ‘normal’. Retirement from the superhero gig suits you"  
“I’m not wasting this second chance Clint. We’ve retired from the Superhero gig. I like teaching defence to people, showing them to defend themselves and training them up. Plus, we can always spar to keep things interesting, I bet I could still beat you in hand to hand combat…”  
“You most likely could” Clint allowed “But you did train me well and when we sparred together, you did you amazing moves that floored me even as Kira”   
“We can still have fun then” Natasha said with a smile "Only without worrying about death around every corner"  
“So are we going to tell anyone? I’m sure people would want to know that you’ve returned in some compacity, especially Bruce and Steve. Bruce threw a bench when he found out what happened, and Steve was genuinely in tears, Thor was in denial but Tony knew that you thought of us as family. He was saddened to. He really cared about you” Clint said softly   
“I know he did” Natasha said “He was like that annoying big brother, always out to show off and drive you mad, yet I knew I could go to him if I really needed anything”  
“Definitely.” Clint agreed “Remember after the drama of the accords?”  
“He eventually forgave me for that, I think he knew that he had made a mistake when he agreed to the accords but all I wanted to do was to keep, this 'family' together.”  
“I never did thank you for that” Clint said  
“I just, I just had to do it my way.” She answered “All I really wanted was to keep the team together…”  
“We were eventually.” Clint answered “So do you think you’ll tell anyone?”  
“I don’t, I honestly don’t know yet” She answered  
“I’ll support you whatever happens, you know that right? Whatever you decide?”  
“Of course you will, you always have” She answered with a smile   
“Lila would love to meet you, the kids would at some point, I mean if this is going to be long term…”  
“Clint, one step at a time” Natasha answered with a smile “But for now, can we just be like any other couple on a Friday night. Watching a movie, ordering bad take out and complaining about our week and thinking how lovely it is that it’s Friday?”  
“That’s very domestic” Clint said with a smile   
“Maybe I like domestic” Natasha answered with a grin   
They sat on the sofa together, curled up under a blanket enjoying the peace and quiet of the moment. Kira knew she’d have to make a choice about getting in contact with people and her future, though she hadn't realised over the next few nights the choices would be made for her.

While nightmares hadn't touched her yet, they came back with a vengeance after that conversation with Clint. Her dreams were haunted by falls, Thanos, death and the snap not working. Sleep seemed to have eluded her, something which had not happened since she'd returned till now. Her peppermint and ginger tea wasn’t helping either. She’d switched to Lavender and Camomile but still the dreams haunted her. He friends faces appeared in the mess, her friends disappeared in the Snap including Bruce and Steve. Her worst one was the dream when Thanos had defeated everyone, and the bodies of all her friend were lying on the ground, sightless eyes and hands out in desperation reaching for her as she walked through the mass of bodies, somehow having returned from death including Clint. She hadn’t been able to help anyone.  
Natasha awoke with a yell on the 4th night, making Clint jump in the process. She sat up in bed, gasping for air and shaking. Clint gently reached out to her, keeping his voice soft  
“Hey, It’s OK. Your home” He said quietly repeating the gentle words.  
Natasha gasped looking around, her eyes finding Clint’s in the moon light that lit their room.  
“Nightmare?” Clint questioned  
“I was falling…and I kept falling…and then nothing but blackness and death, so much death” She said shivering slightly  
“You’ve not had any nightmares since your return” Clint said worriedly “I shouldn’t have brought up seeing the others…maybe it triggered your memories”  
“No…maybe, maybe I should see them…maybe it’s my bodies way of telling me to see them. I mean it wouldn’t hurt to see Steve first, maybe we can see him. It’s the weekend after all, no classes or training” Natasha said. He noted once she’d decided, she became calmer and stiller after saying it out loud. She always worked better with a plan.  
“I shall call in the morning and see” Clint said holding his arms out as Natasha crawled into them, laying her head on Clint’s chest and listening to his gentle heartbeat, allowing it to lull her into sleep. As Natasha drifted, Clint stayed awake, alert to watch over his partner, as he looked at her features finally relaxing into sleep. He wasn’t religious but still offered up a generous word every night, to thank who ever had returned Natasha to him. He still worried about the dreams and nightmares, he was waiting for something to wrong as everything seemed to go smoothly but he hoped that after all the bad luck that had been given to them in the past, that they would continue to receive good luck and hope. He gazed once more at Natasha (In his head she was still Natasha) and to be honest now that he had her back, she was his Natasha, though he was careful not to say it around her in case he got a lecture about her belonging to no one but she held his heart, and had from their first meeting and would till their last.

The End

Authors Note 2: So I’ve reached the end. I’m sorry if this seems a bit anti climatic. I do have a few more stories based around thus universe. My ideas are as follows depending on feedback;  
Clint and Natasha tell Steve.  
Clint and Natasha tell Bruce.  
Lila (Clint’s daughter) thinks there is something strange about her Dad’s new girlfriend.  
Something they’d forgotten about changes their future.


End file.
